Choose Wisely

I went to Church yesterday… I hadn’t gone in a while, and now especially being back home and going to my own Church where, you know, you see absolutely everyone you don’t want to see? More or less because they bring back awkward grade-school memories, or because you know behind that “oh-aren’t-I-a-good-Catholic” smile that really they’re all just busy-bodies after information about whatever is going on in your life? Yeah. Those people. Gotta love ’em.

Oh reader I hope that didn’t leave you with a bitter taste as I am anything but bitter! That little blurb was roughly 90% sarcasm and the other half truth. *Also please notice the not-so-subtle reference to Yogi Berra. If you don’t know who he is…shame on you.

Having been home for only a week thus far, I’ll admit it’s been a mixture of feelings: wonderful because hooray for being home, am I right? Or am I right? Insane because my middle sister is graduating on Friday and my mom is losing/has lost her marbles cleaning, party planning, all that good stuff. Irritating because since I’m the calmest one in the house, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE including the dog, seek refuge in my room. Not that I don’t mind the company, but every other 5 minutes or so, mom walks in to rummage through the closet for “something”, dad walks in then stretches on my floor asking about my current “doings”, little sister sometimes sleeps in my bed, same with my dog. Then I’m over here at my desk thinking, “uh, sure family you can just all move into my room, let’s have a slumber party!” LOL. Now that would be something I’m not sure I’d be more than reluctant to pay to see…

If you haven’t caught on already, I’m feeling a bit sassy? Sarcastic? …Just roll with it.

REGARDLESS OF ALL THE CRAZY THINGS HAPPENING I am most definitely grateful to be home and with everyone. I know my mom loves having me home because I’m honestly the only sane person in this household. I sometimes think they based the show Modern Family off of our family…

Ok ok Beth, get a grip.

… where am I going with this? *inspiration come to me!!!*

10:18pm I just looked back at what I titled this blog, “Choose Wisely” and ironically enough one of my most favorite songs just came on (Holocene by Bon Iver – ugh, it’s so beautiful and slow and sad… but I just love it. Give it a listen sometime).

Choose Wisely. Ah, I remember… yes! That’s why I talked about Church in the beginning, ok it’s all coming back to me… I was originally going to title it “If he takes you to a dining hall, it’s NOT a date.” Iz would have a good laugh at that…Back to the topic.

I’ve been thinking quite a lot about my life, decisions I have made, am going to have to eventually make, and those I don’t know about that again, I may or may not have to face. This theme most certainly relates back to the thought of parallel universes. Like the idea of if I wasn’t so weird, awkward, or antisocial in middle school would I have had more friends? That’s a bad example, everyone’s weird in middle school. (The Stable Song by Mr. Isakov – Pandora you are nailing it tonight.) How about this: if you asked my friends to describe me in one word, what do you think they’d say? Most would say crazy. Truthfully, yes, that is more than accurate. But why? What if I wasn’t so overzealous or laughed till my eyes watered at things that maybe didn’t deserve that strong of a reaction, what would they say then? If I acted differently, maybe quiet, reserved, would they say I’m nice-er? Personally, I think I’m a pretty quiet and reserved person, but others think quite the opposite. Another question: what if I didn’t go to OSU? How different would my life have been? Would my social, emotional, and romantic statuses be different than they are now? Of course I’ll never know, but it sure makes me wonder. Never enough to keep me awake at night, but I digress.

The pastor at my church had a splendidly brief homily about decision making and how it not only affects the individual, but the rest of the flock so to speak. Whether it be a spiritual or personal decision, it creates a ripple effect on the rest of the community. You may not necessarily be connected to the decision-maker, but the emotional response you have to his or her decision is ultimately the effect that the decision has on you personally. Interesting to think about, right? Of course, the closer you are to said decision-maker, the more intimate these emotions and feelings become, and the greater the reaction is toward the outcome. (Skinny Love – yet another one of my favorites. So calming…)

I’ve rambled a bit in this post, my mind is here but everywhere all at once. I’m not thinking about anything in particular, yet here I am finding myself very much distracted by whatever it is, that I’m not… thinking about? Hmm…

I guess to conclude this never-ending post: I’m peaceful. The yin and yang are balanced tonight. The things I know right now versus the things I have yet to learn, definitely not so balanced. I have much to learn about my career, eventually living in an apartment and paying my own bills. Even my faith, I’ve been quite distant and although it doesn’t sadden or disappoint me as nearly as much as I know it should, the Big Man and I have a lot to discuss. And someday, when the time is right, I’ll be happily married, have a beautiful family, and start a whole new adventure.

FOR NOW?

I am a hard working college student, dedicated employee, loving daughter and sister, follower of Christ, Sudoku solver, and exercise enthusiast…

That just about sums me up. 🙂

Oh, I forgot one!

Happy.

~Cheers~

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