April showers are bringing more than May flowers…

It’s also bringing on a new challenge!

April is bringing on a 20-30 minute a day cardio schedule. While it doesn’t seem like a lot, that’s roughly 2+  miles running, a good trek on a bike, and a satisfying long swim.

When I was home over spring break, I was able to get in a training day with my own personal trainer – and boy did he kick my @$$ ! The hardest part of the workout was some of the TRX exercises and this one HIIT interval I did with these little barrier things. I’ll admit, I was pretty damn embarrassed, I felt like I was going to pass the heck out! I saw the color in my face draining, and I just thought to myself, “what is going on?! I work out everyday back at Home #2, so what’s the issue? I’ve run a half marathon, in training for another one, am a strong swimmer, solid jump roper, decent rower (at least on the erg)… WHAT THE HECK.

HIIT. That was it: High Intensity Interval Training. Those barriers lasted maybe a minute or two, but wow did it feel like forever.

SO. On that note, starting April 1st, I’m spicing up my workouts with more cardio fun. No, this is no April Fool’s joke, this is real…and the word ‘fun’ is used lightly in this case. It’s not going to be easy, but it’ll be worth it. I’m hoping that this is the breakthrough mechanism I need in my workouts. Believe me, I write some pretty challenging workouts – just ask the people who train with me! However, we’ve focused so much on weights and strength training that now is most definitely a perfect time to incorporate some cardio building. With the summer months quickly approaching, there’s no better or faster way to trim down and get lean then with a good ol’ run! Or bike, or swim for that matter.

I will still eat a healthy diet, LOTS of veggies, maybe cut back on the fruit just a little. I’ll be able to eat meat once again! That’ll be somewhat strange…I’ve become so accustomed to not eating meat now, but it’ll be nice to have turkey and chicken back in my menu. Furthermore, I should probably start cutting Good Bars out of my diet… Sad day, I know. But unfortunately, as healthy as they claim to be, they still have a high amount of sugar and fats which is the last thing I need in my diet. *Again: I do NOT claim to be a nutritionist. I am solely trying to live a more natural and healthy lifestyle.

That gives me an idea now that I sit here and ponder… While I don’t [typicallyeat prepackaged foods (ie. chips – oops just ate some now b/c, well hunger… and been awake since 11:45pm… and it’s 5:30am now) that would be another great thing to give up this month. That would mean no more Good Bars…But. It’s probably for the best. There are more natural ways of getting the necessary vitamins and healthy fats I need, and it doesn’t need to be through a prepackaged source. What about peanut butter?? Ugh. I guess that means goodbye peanut butter too. Maybe. I love peanut butter, but I guess that would make it a worthwhile challenge now, wouldn’t it?

I’ll do my best to post my workouts on here incase anyone is interested in doing them with me!

*Side note: If you feel like you are going to pass out, something hurts, or it is too fast/hard (at the moment!) stop, take a sip of water, and readjust.  Walk it out, shake it off, and keep on keeping on. If you need motivation, I’m a great motivator – I’ll post some fun things on here too to lighten the mood… just because workouts should be FUN and you should feel GREAT.

Granted I won’t be walking out of the gym like this everyday (or ever), but inside I will because I know deep down I’m making the necessary changes that will help me feel more confident with myself and even stronger in my workouts.

So while it might start off like this:

running animated GIF

and people/my friends will ask me:

running animated GIF

“just felt like running…” Yeah ok.

Eventually, my inspiration/motivation board and Runner’s World magazines will help me to make my transformation:

SLU Model Danielle H for Runners World!

 (Inspiration at its finest: what I would give to look like her…)

But I know if I put my mind to it:

ican

Watch out world. 

~cheers~

I’m BAAAAACK!

Hello World!

dancing animated GIF

Guess who’s back? The Real Slim Shady.  HA, not quite – I am! I meant to blog about this earlier in the week but I kept procrastinating postponing the so-called “due date” and am only deciding to write it now. Plus I have some things that I need to get off my mind and what better way to do so then blog, right?

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that this is the first week back since break. Although the week went by relatively quick, it seems like Spring Break was so long ago? Maybe it’s just me.

Wow, where do I begin? Oh, I know exactly where. Reunited $hmoney Team? I thought I was going to cry… tears of joy, people! Tears of utter joy! (Ok, I might have shed one or two…Shh!) I don’t think they realized how much I missed them…Seriously.

After an interesting weekend so to say, too short of time with family, and setting a new personal record for hours worked over break, it was good to have some sanity back in my life. Yes, as crazy as my friends are individually (haha, I should talk…), they are the ones who help keep me grounded. They balance me: Em with her understanding and optimistic charisma, and of course my workout bud and JCamp goer Iz. Her realistic outlook and humor are always welcome in my life. I must say, we make a great group. Even though we sometimes get on each others nerves, at the end of the day, we know that we have each other to count on. For anything and everything.

*That sounded sappier than I wanted it to, but honestly I mean it. Truth be told, these lovely individuals are two of the greatest people I have gotten to know…and I am so thankful to call them my friends.

*no waterworks, you’re not welcome right now!

the incredibles animated GIF

I also gave blood for the first time with Iz! We donated on Friday; it went much better than I expected, although I did have to hold someone’s hand. Football player Chris Carter #72’s hand. Nbd or anything, we’re good friends. No but seriously, he’s a cool guy! I think the volunteers might’ve thought I was drunk (I don’t drink, I promise. Anyone can attest to that) during the process because I was just singing and jamming in my chair…honestly, I was just trying to keep myself distracted from the somewhat uncomfortable needle, tired arm, and lightheadedness. So that’s that. I would definitely donate again though, as long as someone goes with me and holds my hand for the first couple minutes as they set up. 🙂

Run Down the Demons 5k is coming up this weekend! I’m pretty excited, although I haven’t run in a while…but a 5k is not too bad, and it should be fun – some of my friends are going so it should be good.

Want to know my favorite part about this WHOLE week? Iz and I snuck into the Shoe (our Football stadium/Kingdom). Ok, “snuck into” is used lightly…It was Sibs and Kids weekend so everyone’s siblings were on campus this past weekend (which by the way, SO CUTE. Little kids are the greatest…back to the point!) and we walked in as cousins. It was great – we took some wonderful pictures, laid on the field, took more pictures, and imagined what it would be like to wear those stunning Championship Rings. Or necklace… @spinnershells, share the wealth here!

I promise I’m almost done here. It’s been quite a while since I’ve last blogged, but I just want to make sure I’ve got everything covered.

As you may or may not have remembered, one of my New Year’s Resolutions was to do monthly challenges, so a challenge for each month basically. This month’s challenge was to go vegetarian, thus #MeatlessMarch. It was very challenging at first. I had to consciously tell myself that I could not eat meat (except fish) for the entire month (so I guess that makes me a pescetarian?). However, as time passed I became accustomed to my newfound diet of veggie nuggets, fruit and lettuce salads, and sushi. Things I typically ate – so nothing too new here, aside from the no-meat part. As March comes to a close, I’ve come to the realization that I need to start eating more veggies and less meat. Although meat is a great source of protein, there are other sources of protein and ways to fill up without all the calories or high fats/cholesterol etc. I’m aware I’m no nutritionist, but eating too much meat is unhealthy. Additionally, it’s supposedly good for the planet to eat less meat. So hopefully I can make a positive difference that way, right? Are you wondering about April? So am I. I haven’t decided what I wanted to do yet for this next month, but I should probably figure it out fast. I’ll get back to you on that.

*Side note: I feel so much better! My head is much clearer now. *sigh of relief.* Don’t worry, I’m wrapping it up – I have to work at 2am (It’s 10:43pm now) so I’m hitting the sack soon.

In a wrap, things I’ve learned this week (some discussed earlier others not):

1) I can be happy if I choose to be.

2) I have some of the greatest friends on earth.

3) Iz and I could pass for cousins…At least for 45 minutes. “Mom?”

4) This week was tough, but I was happy. Happy. True bliss. Set up an appointment with my advisor to switch majors and figure out my class schedule for the next two years, I get to see my mother, sister, and bæ Easter weekend, and best of all, I’ll be done with exams in APRIL! I just need to power through these last 5 weeks of school. Unbelievable how fast this year has gone; however, I feel like I say that every year…

Oops, that was like 10 things in one, but just stick with me here.

5) I liked a gay man. He just hasn’t realized it yet. Yes, that part of the equation.

6) I enjoy dressing up! I’ve made it my goal to dress nice at least 4 out of the 7 days of the week… I’m not sure how long that will last, but I’m going to try! When I say dress nice, I mean fancier-ish clothes, maybe even a little make up and a fresh shower and perfume – you never know who you’re going to see! #Zeke

7) I think I’m going to pull out my guitar this weekend and play. I haven’t played in a long time, and I feel like I’ve forgotten all that I’ve learned!

8) Random thought: When I have kids, or at least hope to have kids, I will do everything in my power so they don’t have to grow up with social media. I think if I didn’t have facebook or instagram, I would be a much happier person. “Well delete it?” Is it really that simple though? I don’t think so. That’s another discussion for a later date.

9) It’s going to be another busy summer for me, but I like it that way. I’ll be working at the pool coaching and lifeguarding, reliving my Baywatch days…baywatch animated GIF

…and taking a summer statistics class. Only because I have to.

college animated GIF

And lastly:

10) Everything happens for a reason. The good, the bad, and the unexplainable. That’s the beauty of life.

Have a wonderful night – be happy – and have a great start of your week!

happy animated GIF

~cheers~

An Unbreakable Wall

I like to think that I’m pretty good at pretending acting hiding. I’m not necessarily good at hiding my emotions; no, definitely not. I practically wear my heart on my sleeve. However, I am great at hiding my thoughts.There has not been a single person with whom I’ve truly spoken my mind, and I mean, spoken my mind, what and how I’m really thinking. Now, for my friends that read my blog, more specifically this post please do not take offense to that previous statement. I have shared many a secrets, some more personal than others, with the few very close friends I have. I have even spoken to a psychologist for various reasons that will not be discussed and if asked about, will politely decline to answer. Regardless of this, I simply cannot directly express the words or thoughts running through my mind. I naturally begin to speak in riddles and write in metaphors. The walls slowly construct themselves, and I bottle up any and all emotions. My thoughts roll in and out like the tide on the shore. All I want is to find this internal peace and quiet so I try to find it through silencing myself and listening to the distractions of the world around me. No questions, no storytelling, just observing and appreciating.

My new favorite song obsession that perfectly relates to this blog post: https://youtu.be/eFXRQKYFbXE

You’ve got a heart as loud as lions
So why let your voice be tamed?
Maybe we’re a little different
There’s no need to be ashamed
You’ve got the light to fight the shadows
So stop hiding it away

Come on, come on

The more you push me to speak, the more I pull away. I become distant, defensive, and reserved. What more can I say?

I just need [or want?] time and space.

They are unbreakable walls. They protect me and that is how it will always be. While I do not expect people to understand, I would hope they understand and respect my wishes to either talk or not talk about things.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I sit on the cold metal bench, all cozy in a sweatshirt and blanket with a hot tea in hand. I have my head phones plugged in …

“…and at once I knew, I was not magnificent…”

The ducks are still fast asleep on the lake and the birds are wide awake happily chirping. The sun rises around 7:40am, and couldn’t be more beautiful. The colors wash together, various shades of hot orange and pink, even thin streaks of blue here and there. Halfway into the sky and it already feels significantly warmer. The beams brush my face and a small gust of wind whips through my hair like the perfect beginning or even ending scene in a movie. The music changes. “How many songs have passed? … how long have I been here?”  I ponder to myself.

“Some things we don’t talk about
Rather do without
And just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of
Together all the while…”

I sip my tea and pull the arms of my blanket around me a little tighter. Memories cross my mind but I push them away shaking my head. People begin to slowly emerge from their homes; looks of dreariness and anxious longing to crawl back into hibernation etched in the dark circles under eyes and in their exasperated sighs… 

Pulling my Ray-Bans out of their case, I briefly glance over my shoulder, put them on, and slowly start to make my way back home. The sun yawns and shines its great rays over the landscape, casting grand shadows over the tall buildings and giving color to the bare trees.

Back inside my hall, I climb the never-ending stairs to my floor, and to my surprise I notice someone had written a message on our whiteboard. Someone in the prettiest and sweetest of fonts had left the following:

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” ~C.S Lewis

A delicate smile slips over my lips.

Tourist enjoying sunrise at Conrad, Bali - Hijauku File

…Everything happens for a reason…

~cheers~

weekend update with bethyd

Hello world! I once again apologize for not being as present on here as I should be. Regardless, I’m here now, no?

It has been quite the weekend, friends! As excited as I should be for Spring Break, alas, I’m not. I have a solid amount of homework and studying to do, catching up on sleep, playing guitar and piano…and yet, here I am not doing any of it.

I saw my good friend Iz (well, maybe even ‘best friend’ because we do nearly everything together which is stinkin’ awesome!) off on Saturday evening…WOW…it feels like it’s been much longer than that. Seriously miss her so much. She’s at JCamp (AKA Jesus Camp) in LA, which I mean, LA. So awesome – being in New Orleans, doing service for the wonderful people there…you’ll have to hear her side of the story about it. 🙂

My friend Luis also came to visit me this weekend! It was nice to finally meet him in person. I know that sounds kind of funny, but whatever it’s cool. We went to the gym and smashed the workout – as usual – always striving to be better, faster, stronger (thanks Kanye). We also did a photoshoot, walked around campus, went to the Wexner Center of the Arts (super cool – there were a few actual very beautiful fiber pieces that spoke to me…), walked around some more, and had chipotle for dinner. Anddd now here I am: at work, typical for me.

I’ve been in my thoughts for the majority of this weekend…

For the most part it’s because I really miss my friend/workout bud Iz and all her hilarious and sarcastic comments/threats, and I really, really miss my family. On some level, I really wish I had decided to go home for spring break and not set a new personal work record of 37 hours in 4 days…Here goes 10hr shift number 1! Wahoo. On the other hand, that’s what I chose to do and in the process I make money and get to work out at the RPAC. Still…

I’d rather not talk about it…I leave Wednesday for home and boy am I counting down the hours, even minutes.

Another random thing, even though I miss people, I must say I am definitely enjoying the peace and quiet in the building. There’s something magical about silence. It doesn’t matter where it is, but it’s never truly ‘silent.‘  Does that make sense? – I’ll explain later…eventually.

Hmm… I’m considering writing another blog post. Maybe tonight, maybe not. I’m not sure – again, really in my thoughts but I don’t want to think right now… I don’t want to approach or discuss them any time soon.

Anyway, going to go back to work now which will consist of watching “How to Get Away with Murder,” taking some Anatomy quizzes, and probably starting an outline for my 5 page paper. I’ll most likely only accomplish 1-2 of the 3 things…but let’s be real. Who wants to write a paper at 4am? On Spring Break? Obviously me!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Basically my 6 stages of emotional duress:

Stage 1: Eat all the food, but completely miss my mouth.

Stage 2: Ok, food never helps…So, I’m going on a run. Or just a workout in general

Fat Amy Pitch Perfect animated GIF

But actually…

Exercise Fitspiration animated GIF

*Yeah. Don’t mess.*

Stage 3: Wow – workouts just make me feel so much better about myself! This is great!

Stage 4: After the post-workout feeling wears off and someone asks me, “Are you alright?”

“Oh yeah, I’m great.”

…but in reality/my head:

Crying Glee animated GIF

Seriously. Please just leave me alone.

Stage 5: After a hot shower, a fresh pair of clothes, a couple hours, a few tears shed and a few punches thrown, I feel my energy draining.

beyonce animated GIF

Stage 6: And finally, it hits me. The emotional and physical exhaustion overwhelms mind, body, and soul…

Baby Gifs For Fun animated GIF

Best. Feeling. Ever.

That’s all for tonight folks!

~cheers~

Don’t Look Back

Why do you run?

Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

I run to feel. I run to forget. I run for me.

I used to run to avoid my problems. I thought that being miles away from home or wherever I was would help me escape for the time being. For a while, a temporary while, it did help me do so; however, I dreaded coming back because I knew “it” still existed, “it” being whatever issue I currently did not want to face… I have realized that this will only cause more harm than good, therefore I no longer run to getaway or even think about my problems.

I do the opposite – I run to liberate myself from myself.

Strange idea, right?

I run for air and for the sense of freedom. I run to create distance and feel pain. I run to feel every muscle fiber in my body working, every joint compressing, my heart trying to regulate to a comfortable beat.

I run because I know I can push myself harder, faster, longer – a few more minutes, maybe a few more miles, or until the thoughts in my head have cleared or the anger, frustration, and emptiness wears off.

I run to feel.

Feel free from the chains of my unwanted memories and mistakes and occasionally unruly emotions. I know I’m successful if I feel or am fearless, breathless, even uncomfortable at the end of my run because that way I know I’ve broken out of my comfort zone.

When I run, everything goes away, at least for the time being. I put in my headphones and silence the rest of the world. It becomes mine: my motivating music, pounding heartbeat, and the glorious aching of legs. One more stride, one more minute, one more mile…

One more bridge: to build, to cross, or to burn.

It’s never easy to face the past, and maybe that’s why so many of us say we want to forget it. To be honest, I can’t entirely say I want to forget my past, but there are moments that I would love to permanently erase…then again, not so much because I’ve felt, experienced, and learned from these lessons. Good and bad alike – they have made me who I am: reserved, empathetic, and strong.

So to myself, I say don’t look back. Why? Because I cannot and will never be able to change the past. Looking over my shoulder will do nothing for me but cause me to over think, over analyze, and ultimately drive myself insane…as if I’m not to that point already. What’s done is done – it will never be the same whether for the best or the worst, that is how it is and will remain.

                  boy, cold, darkness, empty, far away, forest, indie, pale, photography, road, run, running, scape, snow, soft grunge, trees, vintage, winter, woods

       *inhale. exhale*

~cheers~

& let go.

Challenge Number 3

Hello friends! This is going to be a super short post, meant to post it yesterday…oops. *apologies*

Anyway, happy March 1st! (even though today it’s March 2nd, but hey let’s pretend).

So, what’s been new with me? Well, a few things.

1) I’ve been in kind of a funk (potentially to be discussed at a later day, but we’ll see. I don’t want to talk about it right now…), but after a week semi-away from my phone and an awesome weekend with my friend Iz, I feel rested (in a sense) and ready to take on the challenges in front of me. I really just need to manage my time super well this week in terms of studying/getting everything I need to done before break.

2) Iz and I have been working out EVERYDAY which has been wicked AWESOME. I can’t even begin to tell you how sore/tired/happy/stronger I feel. Last Thursday marked the start of Week 5 (I think?). I’m so thankful for Iz. Not only has she worked through all my relatively insane and challenging workouts, but it has been so motivating to have someone to go with the gym everyday. Although she may argue differently with me about this statement, I’ve noticed significant changes over the weeks with her increasing strength and dedication to the mission. I know she’s been dedicated since Day 1, but I can see how much she wants it. We may not be Rio material, but we’re working our butts of here Coach T so I hope you appreciate our efforts/I hope they pay off! Heck, we’re going to be in ridiculously awesome shape come the fall, regardless. We do need to incorporate more cardio though, ie) longer Saturday runs (we’ll get there, Iz…)  and a few more cardio days whether it be 45 minutes on a bike, in the pool, haven’t decided yet. So on that note, no matter how many times you say you hate me Iz, or that you’re going to kill me, in the long run (ha, run – cardio… get it? pun pun… ok sorry), you’re getting stronger. Everyday. Not to mention, THOSE KICKS. *smiles. head nod*

Also, we ran around the Shoe in the freezing cold (probably not our brightest idea), but we did find out that 2 laps around is a little more than a mile! Great info – we’ll run it every Saturday – I’ve got some good workout ideas brewing in my mind.

3) IT’S MEATLESS MARCH! Aka Challenge #3! Now that February/my chocolate fast is over *side note: had a fabulous dark chocolate bunny today. YUM* I’m going vegetarian this month. This is going to be quite the challenge… I. LOVE. MEAT. By meat I mean turkey and chicken. I don’t typically eat ham/pork, at least I’ve never eaten it on campus. As far as burgers, I ate one first semester, then haven’t had one since. No particular reason, but my dietician at the time gave me that “oh-you-really-eat-that-you-probably-shouldn’t” face sooo there’s that.

Also, for my vegetarian month, I’m allowing myself to eat eggs and fish. So, no, I’m not going vegetarian entirely, but still – no meat. #meatlessmarch #trendthat

Today’s meals went as followed:

Breakfast/Lunch:

-scrambled eggs, cantaloupe, a banana and peanut butter, and a glass of orange juice. They were out of lemon water…otherwise I would’ve had that in place of my OJ. Too much sugar in those minute maid drinks – including OJ. *sigh*

*oh yeah, somewhere after a dark chocolate bunny. SO. STINKIN. GOOD.

Dinner:

-salad: dark greens, tomatoes, cucumbers, edamame, tofu (marinated in something?), walnuts, and raspberry vinaigrette; and a Good Greens Dark Chocolate and Coconut bar (typically Iz and I call them Good Bars b/c, they’re goodDUH); and water

So far so good. The rest of this month will be interesting – filled with lots, and lots of veggies and fruits. #saladsfordays

#ineedtostopwithallthesehashtags #imembarrassing #okimdone

Ok, this post ended up being much longer than expected, but that’s ok. I’ll try to post again this week. I had a short writing idea, not sure if I’m going to post it still or not. Hmm…to post it, or not to post it.

OH! and

4) Talked to my sister a little on the phone last night. It was so, so good to talk to her. Ugh, I miss my fam.

Ok, well I’m peacin’ out. Gotta finish some work.

Goodnight world!

Breath Of Fresh Air On Good Breath Of Fresh Air

~cheers