Fear is real. It is powerful, manipulative, and silencing. It quietly works itself into the crevices of memories, especially lurking in shattered confidence, personal insecurities, and infamous memories. Fear stalks the shadows of your former ghosts feeding on pain and uncertainty. It can drive, no, will drive you insane if you don’t let go. It’s like the little devil that sits on your shoulder, but worse. It’s the little voice that whispers “what ifs” in your ear, clouding your judgement, looming over your head like a mysterious cloud of confusion. Except, you’re not confused, you know exactly what you’re thinking…it’s just, scary.
I’d like to think I’m not afraid of many things in life, with the few exceptions…
For example. I’m not afraid spiders, snakes, or heights. Vaccines, doctors, blood? Easy. *heartbreak? Darkness? Check and check. Death? Psh, not even a shiver down my spine.
EXCEPTIONS. Things I am afraid of: telephones, grades, exams, confrontations, *heartbreak, my weight/appearance, [sometimes] boys, getting married, being a failure/failing in general, being a disappointment…
(especially when she’s angry…that’s another story.)
Fear consumes these things, compelling us to become obsessive, a little too apprehensive, and a lot more anxious and unhappy.
but the real question is what do we do about it? Why do we let our fears get the best of us?
Maybe instead of being afraid of heights, you’re actually afraid of the view you’ve been missing this whole time… or instead of being afraid of getting your own heart-broken, you’re afraid of breaking someone else’s.
As far as my mother…don’t get me wrong, I love her to death.
but I will always have a small fear of her.
That still hasn’t answered either of my questions, however, as fear still exists.
In some cases, we do conquer fear. Some individuals go on to become not only great doctors, but successful ones, healing patients and finding a new cure. Others find a way to resolve issues with loved ones, rebuilding burned bridges, and piecing together the broken picture frames.
…yes, fear is a part of life. I cannot extend the advice that you should not live in fear, because in reality fear is a part of what makes living life, well, real. Fear is what keeps us grounded…but overcoming it is what helps us soar.
“To escape fear, you have to go through it, not around it.”