Lower [Raise] Your Voices

My insides are screaming, dying to be heard. Dying? Is that too pitiful of language? What could be stronger than death. Life? I suppose; it has been said, dying is easy, living is harder. I sit here at my desk, shadows crossing behind my back, the moon acutely peering through my window and the ivories playing softly in the background. Everything is silent.

The world rotates, yet here I am. Static. Holding on to every last moment, each inhale and exhale, incase I won’t take another. Savoring moments with friends, listening to stories, while exclusively reflecting on my own. My heart sings to its favorite rhythm, stirring a tornado of notes and thoughts and memories within my brain and – STOP… please…

My heart hums softer now, yet the words grow louder within my head, beginning to overwhelm every sense of my being as IF I could see them floating across my eyes, wrapping around me until I could no longer see. Blinded by darkness in search of the light. The moon shines brighter outside my window, and Clair De Lune croons.

But the funny thing is, I don’t want you to hear me, I want you to understand me. To see me. I want you to sing with me, twirl with me under the blanketed night of stars, and envision with me – a world in which LIFE is what people boast about. Let’s talk about the times that brought us together to fix the bridges we have burned, or that one time that Dad put on a tutu and brought you to work dressed as a Princess, because at one point you were one. Not the hellion child all parents fear of raising, but the child with an imagination as infinite as the galaxies, fearless beyond measure, and as riveting as the questions she poses to herself in this wild, and strange world. We get one chance at life – not saying it will be perfect – but why not fill it with acts of good and accounts of the jaw dropping surroundings that we often times fail to appreciate.

Have you ever noticed the shade between the ocean blue and summer setting orange of a sunset? Or the fiery magenta mixing between the slits of a baby chick yellow in the early stages of the sunrise? Or the way close friends who have been distant for so long, reconnect as if distance was just a gap in the concrete?

I want to sing out. I want my voice to be heard. But here I will remain – hushed and undisturbed, between the wall of a computer and the eyes or ears of – whoever is out there – I will let these words speak out for me instead. I will paint the world with my imagination; not through rose-tinted glasses, but instead through passion and wonder and accord. We cannot hide all pain, nor choose not to accept that we live in an unsafe world. Nevertheless, that should not deter us from fearing the fall. Rather we should learn how to defy gravity: elude the scope of judgment and criticism and hatred. Gather your hands together and reach out to someone you don’t know. Everyone has a story. And every story should be told.

 

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How long has it been/I have moved!

Dear fellow readers:

Hello and happy new year to you all! I hope that 2015 had either a pleasurable or thankful ending to it for you.

I’ll admit I feel quite awkward blogging again…but here I am.

2 main things to this post:

  1. Wow it’s been a long time since I’ve written so, “hello” to all or maybe just me…
  2. And 2, I’m moving! No, not me…well, maybe me…but my blog. With this new year, I’ve decided to start a new blog. I haven’t created it yet, but if you’re interested in reading, leave a comment/shoot me a message/send me a eagle messenger (HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE), you get the point, and I’ll tell you my secrets. Just kidding. I … have secrets. ANYWAY beside the point.

Here’s to the new blog, a new year, and most importantly, new beginnings.

 

~Cheers~

Third Time’s the Charm

I couldn’t be happier to be in Columbus right now. It has been such an opportunity-driven summer, one I wouldn’t trade for the world. I will be honest though, I’m thankful to be back in my routine – school, workout, work, sleep, study, study some more, and repeat.

This is a brief entry for those of you who follow my page – can’t truly say I’m sorry I haven’t kept up on this, but I will do my best to post at least once or twice a month. Maybe thrice if something interesting or exciting happens in my social-less life… Ha! I’m kidding, but not really. Getting back to the point of this post.

Junior year – WOW. Has my life really gone by that quickly?! But that’s not how I’m approaching this year. I am starting off on a good note – good friends, a great schedule, a library which I call home (#penthouse), and a convenient job that pays above minimum wage. I’m on track to graduate, I have loving and supportive family and friends that all want me to succeed. And succeed I will.

This is my year, a clean slate. No more reliving the past or getting crazy over all the “what if’s” of the future, no more boy/friend(s) drama, that’s not me. This is my time to prove to myself what I’m capable of doing. It is the here and now. And I’m ready.

Good night world, and to me: Welcome to Junior year.

~Cheers~

*clink*

In Time there will be a Perfect time.

Is there such a thing as a perfect time? Maybe ‘perfect timing?’ Whether that be in an ironic, controversial, personal, or even comical scenario, time is always on the clock (ha, see what I did there? Ok, it was much funnier in my head.)

ANYWAY.

Here comes the point where my mind goes completely blank. All these things I planned on writing about, or venting, or words I planned on transforming into some inspirational or significant blurb that would touch the hearts of all my anonymous readers the one or two readers who have been such wonderful friends… I’ll just start writing and see where it goes, how does that sound? I’ll try to keep it short. No promises…

Happy [belated] 4th! I hope everyone had a fantastic and safe weekend. God Bless America. Fourth of July always makes me realize how blessed I am to live in this country. It is yet another thing I don’t realize how much I take advantage of and how grateful I should be on a daily basis to be here.

Funny story: I’m allergic to the sun. Ok, not ‘allergic,’ just incredibly sensitive. But no worries! I’ve gotten it under control, nothing a baseball cap and strong medication can’t do, eh? He he…

Friends. It’s been a slow week. And it’s unfortunately only Tuesday. Even though it’s summer and school’s out for another month, I really, really want to go on vacation. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been having a very relaxed summer, enjoying free time, family time, and extra minutes for those z’s I seemingly miss at school…but the BEACH. I miss my sandy, salt water home. *sighs*

Moving on.

I miss my friends. Very much. I haven’t seen or talked to any of them, with the exception of a few, since school. I know we’ll have tons to catch up when we get back, but still, I just feel incomplete without them – shhh. That wasn’t supposed to sound corny… Regardless, I’m excited to see them again in August (OH MY GOSH IT’S ALMOST AUGUST!) and get back into my school and “regular” routine so to speak. I love my family, my oh so, very Modern Family, but sometimes, there is such a thing as too much family. Sometimes.

Tv Reactions animated GIF

Oh happy days. Trust me kids, it’s the little things that will always matter in the end.

Time to vent. Just a little. Two things: 1) Work. 2) My mother…and her crazy obsession with weight.

1) Work. I love my kids. I’ve said this before I know, but I’ll reiterate, I would risk my life for them if it came to that. Even on the days they don’t listen, the days they act like the little youthful stinkers they naturally are, or spoiled teenagers their parents are glad they don’t have to deal with even if it is for an hour, they always teach me something new. From patience in learning new dives, to holding back frustrations when the light bulb just flickers, to celebrating to the fullest extent when they overcome their fears. Even if it’s just jumping off the “high” board. It all matters, and it all builds characters, theirs and mine. Coworkers on the other hand, are nothing like kids. And thank god for that; however, whereas I can more easily relate to kids feeling like a kid at heart, sometimes I believe my coworkers and I are on two completely different planets. Different mindsets, goals, conversation starters – some days it blends, other days, crickets probably have better conversations.

2) My mother. I love my mother. She is a rock in my life. Occasionally a rock that gets in my shoe, but more often a rock to hold onto in times of trouble. Strong, beautiful, [yet] stubborn, protective, caring, all incredible qualities of a mother. Going back to strength and beauty, she’s never been a heavy lady, but for whatever reason she’s suddenly become very obsessed with exercising and dieting. Mostly dieting, to the point it’s become a little scary. Maybe it’s just me and my own jealous and insecure feelings about my own body image, that’s another story, blah blah blah. But I’m not the only one that’s noticed, her friends have gone up to both her and me, saying “Chrissy, you’re so skinny, OMG!” Or “Beth, has your mom been working out, she looks great?!” My answers: Yes, and yes.

I suppose her whole weight loss journey has just lit a fire under me to push myself harder. Running an extra mile, or doing one more rep even though my muscles are screaming…something just to up the edge, you know? It’s just, weird. I don’t know how to explain it, just…weird.

Random thoughts: just saw a beautiful cardinal in the bushes, I like cardinals. Don’t know why, but I’m thinking about my friend Henry. Haven’t seen or talked to him in a while, but I hope he’s doing well. Started a co-blog (is that what they’re called?)! SUPER STOKED let me tell you, it’s going to be fantastic!

Annnnnd, just reread my title. I realize this blog just went from point A to Canada. Random, is what I’m getting at. I’ll try to wrap up my point in the next 50 words here…

In time there will be a perfect time. What the hell do I mean by that? Well, I guess we often don’t realize how much the little things may (or may not) create a monumental change in our lives. Maybe there is such a thing as a perfect time, but it doesn’t come instantly. Instead, it is built upon these unsubstantial, irrelevantly simple instances that shock us into new experiences, varying emotions, and moments of nostalgia that bring us back to the people that makes us who we are. You don’t go looking for a perfect time, it’ll come to you like all the other great things in life. But whatever you do, don’t let go of the memory of how you got there, because the feeling of once you get there will surely free you.

~Cheers~

living in the moment

It Takes a Strong Person to Stay Positive

Let me take this moment to tip my hat to the honest, hardworking, patient, and supportive parents, coaches, and other individuals who make this world a better place by just being here. I usually try to avoid venting online, especially in my blogs, but in case I start rambling, this is just a fair warning: I might vent. Just a little (fair enough, right?). Here goes nothing.

Coaching is like parenting. You love the kids you work with as if they were your own. Granted I’m still relatively young to have children, the athletes I work with I praise, discipline, and adore as if they were my own – my very own 16 fabulous, fun-loving, notoriously sassy kids. *laughs*

As much as I love them, like any good coach/parent and any rebellious child, we have our moments. Today was one of those moments. It started off so well, and then when one goes sour, all [almost] all seem to turn sour. The reason? “I just don’t want to do it.” I understand fear. Fear of injuries, fear of smacking, fear of hitting the board? Believe me, I understand. Really, I do. I have been there, done that, been bruised, been broken, etc. However, that’s how life is. You get hit, you get back up twice more, and smile. Smile? Yes. You heard me.

But when the excuse is, because I don’t want to? That’s simply unacceptable. Same situation applies to school. Teacher asks the student to solve a problem. Ok, sure it might be challenging, you might get it wrong, but that doesn’t mean you just stop trying or worse, don’t try at all? *inhale, exhale.* Much better.

Almost.

Sour kid=sour “real” parent (not me, although I was sour. Sour as a bad grape.)

The other coach and I had talked about it trying to figure out what was going on in her head but couldn’t come up with an explanation. Talked to boss lady, explained the situation, and she said she would see what she could do. She sent mom an email to see what was going on, and within less than an hour, there was a response. It was not the response I was looking for. Ouch. In short, she made the coaches sound like the bad guys, and that her kid was completely innocent and just wanted to do the dives she knew how to do. [SHE KNOWS HOW TO DO THE DIVE WE WERE ASKING HER TO DO.] *fuming….fuming…fuming…*

To say the email upset me is an understatement. I aim to please, I’ll be honest. I appreciate constructive criticism as much as the next person, but criticism alone? I’ll kindly pass if I can. I want these kids to have fun, but I also want them to realize that they can’t get away with things so easily. That is not how I coach. It’s just not. If that’s how things are run in that household, so be it. On my boards? If you’re not ready to work, get out of my periphery.

It takes a strong person to stay positive. I had a wonderful morning, but then one rotten email changed the mood, just like that. Again, that’s life. Just have to deal with it.

Chin up, smile on, get over it.

~Cheers~

Lemon Parsley and Summertime Therapy

Hello World! It’s been quite a while, I hope all has been well with you, whoever you are reading this… anyway. Can you believe we’re in the second week of June already? Almost the third? I surely can’t! It feels like summer just started, but here we are half way through and my unfortunate state obviously doesn’t know that in summer, we’re supposed to have sunshine and 80 degrees, not this cold, wind, and rain nonsense.

Honestly, I can’t remember the point I was going to make in this blog, I suppose it was just an update of my happenings: like lemon parsley and summertime therapy.

Lemon Parsley: I got this wonderful new candle and it smells FANTASTIC!

Summertime therapy: staying busy is my therapy! As long as I have a schedule and routine to follow, I am good as gold: work, workouts, and music, let me tell you it is a beautiful thing.

Soooo, ultimately I haven’t been up to too much. I’m hoping to start some guitar lessons soon, but that’s not my main priority at the moment.

Oh! If you’re a smoothie lover, you NEED to try this recipe, it’s incredible.

Avocado and Banana Smoothie

Ingredients: 1/2 avocado, 1 small banana, 1/2 cup almond milk (vanilla), honey for taste, and ice (optional). 174 calories of pure deliciousness. Totally worth it.

Well, that’s all for tonight. I hope all of you readers are having a terrific and hopefully warm summer!

~Cheers~ *clink*

His Name…is…

Sorry gents, I’m off the market! Actually, I have been for quite some time. You see, I’ve been hypnotized by these most endearing and sensational deep, dark, chocolate colored eyes. Not to mention the way he always wants to sit next to me, or cuddle with me in bed. And his kisses? Yeah, I’ll be the first to admit it, his breath stinks, and his kisses are usually pretty fast and slobbery, but they’re sweet, and more significantly reassuring. He’s a man of very few words, but his actions speak for him. A few things about my bae:

-He’s really not a huge fan of pictures, but he does love the attention.

-He doesn’t like dancing, he’s more of a wrestling/tug-of-war type guy.

-If eating were an Olympic sport, he’d be the reigning champion…seriously, sometimes I wonder if he thinks his name is “Food.”

-He’s a great short-stop, but sometimes he’s got his head in the, well, grass because he’s too short to reach the sky…essentially, he just forgets to return the ball. Silly boy.

-Every time I come home, he acts like I’ve been away for weeks. He jumps up and down for joy, “cleans” his space by throwing his stuff this way and that, and then kisses me, even though I’m still half way through the door.

His name? Is Charlie. Charles, Cookie, Fat-Man/Stink-Man/Itchy-Man, Fuzzy-Wuzzy.

Charlie. Charlie the Chocolate Lab. 🙂

#woof ❤

*laughs* I love my dog, let’s be real. Why I wrote about my dog in this post? Well, do I really need a reason?

Have a great night folks, hug your beloved 4-legged friend.

~Cheers~

#storyofhislife